


Nothing like they say

by carxies



Series: I'm still only a human [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (just like the rest of the series), Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dialogue Light, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, M/M, not the relationship between Oikawa and Iwaizumi tho, the iwaoi friendship/relationship is caring and loving i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:32:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7320823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carxies/pseuds/carxies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is 13 when he realises he’s not fascinated by girls like his friends are. At first, it doesn’t bother him, there are more important things than chasing girls, after all. However, when he’s asked about his celebrity crush, he is speechless. He brushes the question off with stating that he has no time for celebrities if they’re not related to volleyball. His friends let it slip this time, but the topic stays glued in his mind. When he asks the same question Iwaizumi later on, his best friend has a clear answer, without thinking about it too much or hesitating.  Wrinkles stay on Oikawa’s forehead for the rest of the day and his mother scolds him during the dinner for it.</p><p>It takes a few days before he notices just what exactly is different between him and his friends. While the boys in his class pay barely any attention to how the other ones look, Oikawa’s gaze seems to linger a little longer on chapped lips and dark eyes and the way their bodies move. He notices the same things on girls, but it feels off, it doesn’t feel right. He lets it be because it’s not a big deal and goes on with his life.</p><p> Or, years go by and things happen. Oikawa does his best</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Oikawa is 13 when he realises he’s not fascinated by girls like his friends are. At first, it doesn’t bother him, there are more important things than chasing girls, after all. However, when he’s asked about his celebrity crush, he is speechless. He brushes the question off with stating that he has no time for celebrities if they’re not related to volleyball. His friends let it slip this time, but the topic stays glued in his mind. When he asks the same question Iwaizumi later on, his best friend has a clear answer, without thinking about it too much or hesitating.  Wrinkles stay on Oikawa’s forehead for the rest of the day and his mother scolds him during the dinner for it.

 

It takes a few days before he notices just what exactly is different between him and his friends. While the boys in his class pay barely any attention to how the other ones look, Oikawa’s gaze seems to linger a little longer on chapped lips and dark eyes and the way their bodies move. He notices the same things on girls, but it feels off, it doesn’t feel right. He lets it be because it’s not a big deal and goes on with his life.

 

The so called peaceful living continues until the day before his birthday when he finds his friends gathered in the circle and whispering something furiously. He joins them curiously, trying to get the most of the conversation. What he hears isn't what he's expected. One of their teachers, his favourite one actually, was apparently fired. When he asks why, he's told it's because he's a gay. The word holds no meaning for Oikawa, however he saves his question for someone who he trusts won't laugh at him for not knowing.

 

“It means that you’re a guy who likes guys instead of girls,” Iwaizumi explains on their way home, “Why are you even asking?”

 

Oikawa tells him what he’s heard and Iwaizumi nods thoughtfully, agreeing with the boys from Oikawa’s class – being gay is disgusting. Oikawa laughs at it and changes the topic as quickly as he can without his friend noticing. They part ways soon, much to his luck, and he can rush home and lock himself in his room to cry his eyes out. Oikawa is still only 13 when he realises that there might be something wrong with him.

 

 

 

Oikawa is 14 when he catches himself staring at boys the way they normally stare at girls. He doesn’t think it’s strange, at least until one object of his observation calls him out on it and asks if there’s something on his face. Oikawa laughs at this and flips his hair, making his way towards Iwaizumi without replying. Deep down though, he himself wonders just what is going on. His best friend scolds him for something he can’t quite remember when he goes to bed that day.

 

He doesn’t gain the interest towards girls like all his so called friends do. He is able to appreciate their beauty, their long eyelashes and pretty smiles, but he feels no attraction towards them. It is frightening, and he tells no one, too scared of rejection. He still remembers seeing his teacher walk down the hall of school with small box wrapped in his arms, his gaze staying on the floor. Oikawa, still just a boy, runs to him and tells him that the man is his favourite teacher no matter who he likes. The man gives him a small smile before another teacher literally drags Oikawa away from him and he never sees him again. Oikawa definitely doesn’t want to end up like his favourite teacher and that’s why he buries his secret down in his chest. Oikawa is still only 14 when he realises he has to hide himself in order to be treated as any other human being.

 

 

 

Oikawa is 15 when his heart skips a beat for the first time. It’s day just like the one before, the sun is long asleep as he and Iwaizumi walk home from volleyball practice. It’s nothing special, they’re both sticky with sweat and tired and Iwaizumi smells _just so bad_ when he’s sweaty, but Oikawa is used to it by now. It’s nothing special, just the two of them talking about little things and sometimes leaning way too close to each other. It’s nothing like the adults say. There is no angelic-like light around Iwaizumi and he doesn’t think Iwaizumi is the most beautiful thing ever, because _seriously_ , his hair is all messed up and wet, and don’t forget the _smell_ , but still, Oikawa loves him regardless. It’s nothing special and it’s no big realisation either, it doesn’t hit him and he doesn’t stop in his track. It’s more like a gentle nudge, soft voice in the back of his head and it stays there ever since then.

 

Oikawa is 15 when he looks at his friend, who looks his worst and to be honest, Oikawa isn’t much better, and his heart swells with pride that his first love is Iwaizumi.

 

 

 

Oikawa is 16 when his secret starts getting into way. More specifically, between him, Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi’s girlfriend. The two of them don’t get along from the first second Iwaizumi introduces them. She’s cute as far as Oikawa can tell, but there are just way too many things off. She thinks volleyball is stupid and she hates all the bands he and Iwaizumi always listen to together. True, these facts could be overlooked, everyone likes different stuff.

 

However, what starts with little jokes turns into complete mocking, ugly and nasty. Oikawa senses something is wrong with her, the way she always decides what she and Iwaizumi will do, the way she scolds his best friend for the tiniest things. He leaves all of these thoughts for himself, not wanting to upset Iwaizumi, although he decides to keep an eye on the girl.

 

Oikawa would normally congratulate himself for being right and maybe even tell Iwaizumi his typical ‘I told you so’. _Normally_. However, he is currently cornered by group of girls and while he is taller and probably stronger than them, eight against one is too much for him to handle. It’s almost funny, because in the end, the girl kept her eye on him and not the other way around. Maybe he should have been more discreet while sneaking looks towards Iwaizumi, maybe he should have resist the urge to let the touches between them last longer than necessary. It doesn’t matter now, when she is staring at him with cold eyes and holds the collar of his shirt, previously used to yank him down.

 

He ignores the names she calls him, still smiling as she raises her voice. He accepts the hard punch that comes after, perhaps he deserves it for creeping on his best friend. It’s almost funny that even Iwaizumi’s girlfriend could be a boxer.

 

“You better stay away or he’s next,” is all she says before she and the group of girls retreat.

 

The blood in his veins freezes at the words and he regrets his mother raised him not to solve things with violence. He drags his feet home, wondering if this is the end of the friendship with Iwaizumi. The house is quiet when he arrives and he is thankful for that, especially with the bruise forming under his eye. However, when he opens the door to his room, he finds the person he wanted to see the less, comfortable on his bed.

 

“What the hell happened to you?” Iwaizumi half shouts, half asks as soon as he steps inside.

“You wouldn’t believe, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa laughs dryly, because he truly wouldn’t, not with the pink glasses of love sitting on his cute nose.

 

Iwaizumi gently treats his wound and he looks terrible from this close, his forehead wrinkled and eyes narrowed as he scolds him, but this time, Oikawa _does_ think he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

 

Oikawa is 16 when his love starts getting in the way of both his and Iwaizumi’s live.


	2. Chapter 2

Oikawa is 17 when he wishes he’s never fallen in love. It’s his birthday, however this year all the excitement vanishes away. It’s only few days after the incident that caused the skin around his eyes to turn blue and he’s been avoiding Iwaizumi ever since then. He tries, much to Oikawa’s secret happiness. He texts Oikawa and comes over, but Oikawa’s phone is on silent all the time and his mother has strict order to say he isn’t home when Iwaizumi stands on the porch.

 

He politely thanks his parents for the gifts he locks himself in the safety of his room. He automatically turns his phone off, ready to continue whatever you can call this. He spends the day relatively alone. His mother comes to check on him few times; however she doesn’t force him into socializing. While the bruise slowly fades, his worries don’t. He desperately tries to figure out what to do in situation like this, yet nothing other than cutting ties with Iwaizumi comes to his mind. It’s the last thing he wants to do, but if it means protecting him, then it’s worth it.

 

As always, Iwaizumi ruins everything Oikawa has planned. When the sun is replaced by the moon, his windowsill squeaks under a weight of his childhood friend. Oikawa isn’t even surprised at this point, ruining plans is Iwaizumi’s not so secret talent and _damn_ , _he’s told him_ _he can’t do this, he isn’t 8 anymore and the poor windowsill cannot take a grown up guy like him._ Still, his lips curl up in the slightest smile when Iwaizumi gracelessly lands on the floor, hair and clothes messy from the tree climbing.

 

Oikawa stares at him, trying to look mad, but then Iwaizumi’s foot gets tangled in the strap of Oikawa’s bag and he loses it.

 

“What are you doing here?” he asks once he calms down, shifting on the bed to make some space for his friend.

“Stupid question. We always have sleepovers on birthdays. Or are you too grown up for them now?”

 

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow as he asks, teasing tone in his voice, and sits beside Oikawa. For some reason, he seems different. Maybe it’s because they used to see each other every day and now for the first time in ages they’ve been apart for this long. But Iwaizumi is losing his childish cuteness and gaining more manly beauty, if that’s how you can describe it. His jaw is sharper than Oikawa remembers, and he’s more attractive than anyone Oikawa has met, and perhaps he’s just really going insane.

 

“I’m not,” he replies quietly, turning his gaze away.

 

The atmosphere shifts thanks his words and Iwaizumi flicks his forehead. “Are you feeling better?”

“What are you talking about, I’m fine.”

 

The other boy frowns, deep scowl setting on his handsome face, and seconds later he sighs. “Drop the act, it’s just us.”

 

And he does. His throws his fake smile away and wraps his arms around Iwaizumi, who returns the gesture without any further questions. They stay like this for the rest of the night, in each other’s arms.

 

It’s not what friends do. Iwaizumi is right next to him, he can watch his steady breathing raising his chest. Oikawa is still his best friend, the person who’s the closest to him, the person who knows every detail about him. And yet, he wants more. He wishes he could lock himself and Iwaizumi in his room, never to leave.

 

To soothe the pain in his chest, he starts messing around with guys who are willing to. It doesn’t go well, they all bring him even more sorrow, but temporarily, it works. He keeps all of this as a secret and his heart stays unknowingly in Iwaizumi’s hands.

 

 

 

He cannot stay away – and he doesn’t. At least until Iwaizumi starts avoiding him. It starts with shorter replies than normal, excuses why he can’t hang out, and then there’s nothing.  Questions stay unanswered and Oikawa’s head is heavy with all the things that could have gone wrong. One week before the school starts, he decides that enough is enough and heads to Iwaizumi’s house early in the morning, when he knows he _will_ be home. What he finds is the worst trigger to his rage.

 

The boy is still asleep, which allows Oikawa to examine dark spots all over his chest. Some of them are older, some seem like they’re just from last night. Oikawa is aware this can be considered as creepy, but that’s the last thing that matters now. He slowly reaches out and touches the biggest bruise, chewing on his bottom lip. Iwaizumi flinches at the contact and jolts awake, his eyes going wide when he sees Oikawa standing above him.

 

“Oika-“

“Who has hurt you?” Oikawa interrupts him, his voice harsh.

“Oh, well..”

“I know that there are people who actually enjoy this, but I also know you’re not one of them, so who the fuck hurt you?!”

 

Iwaizumi sits up and pulls the cover over his body, like he can hide it now that Oikawa has seen it all. His gaze move around the room nervously, something Oikawa hasn’t witnessed in ages and it pisses him off even more, because it means _Iwaizumi_ _is_ _hurt_. Iwaizumi’s hand clutches the blanket and Oikawa wishes he could just calm down and soothe him, but he’s too far to come back. Then it all makes sense and his vision go pitch black.

“It was her, wasn’t it?”

 

The other boy stays silent, still looking away, which only confirms Oikawa’s assumption. His knees go weak and he slumps down next to Iwaizumi, burying his head in his hands. A choked ‘ _I’m so sorry’_ fills the quiet room and before Oikawa knows it, he’s crying for the first time in ages.

 

“It just makes me pathetic, huh?” Iwaizumi asks, his voice shaking.

“No,” Oikawa looks up at him, “No, Iwa-chan. It makes you the victim and if anyone is pathetic, it’s her. You have to break up with her.”

 

Iwaizumi nods and reaches out, hugging Oikawa and they sob in each other’s arm, though they would never admit it to anyone.

 

 

 

Iwaizumi does break up with her. It’s not easy, but he has the whole team behind his back, everyone ready to protect their ace, although they have no idea why they should. Iwaizumi decides to tell them later and ever since then, at least one person is always by his side, in case he was about to meet her. Oikawa couldn’t be prouder of them all, really.

 

The healing takes a long time. Iwaizumi flinches when someone moves too quickly around him and he apologizes a lot, which is so unusual compared to his old self. He politely turns down any confessions he gets and avoids girls all together. Oikawa’s selfish side is happy because of this, it means more Iwaizumi just for himself, but his other half is worried if Iwaizumi ever finds love. The latter wins.

 

Oikawa is 17 when he wishes he’s never fallen in love.

 

 

 

Oikawa is 18 when things slowly go back to normal with Iwaizumi.

 

A stranger kisses his skin where he wants only Iwaizumi’s lips and it makes him sick. He doesn’t stop him though – he imagines that this is what it’s like to be high, and sadly enough, he likes it. His shirts flies across his room and lands on his desk, but he’s too busy to care at this point. He knows he will feel terrible once this is over, however for now, it feels good.

 

“Oikawa?”

 

The sound of his name drags him out of his fantasy, because it’s not a moan from the man above him and the voice is way too familiar. Before he can register what’s happening, the other man is gone and instead Iwaizumi stands above him, staring down at his shirtless body. The stranger disappears from the room without a word and leaves Oikawa facing his worst fear.

 

The air is heavy and it smothers him more and more with every another second of silence. Then Iwaizumi breaks it. “I don’t know where to start..”

 

“Iwa-chan..”

“He’s at least five years older than you. Is he your .. boyfriend?”

“No. He just wanted to try it.”

“And you .. You wanted to try it as well?”

 

He could lie. He could say yes and then laugh with his best friend, maybe make some jokes about it in the future and stay hidden forever. But Oikawa is tired, so tired of not being able to breathe properly.

 

“No. I’m gay.”

 

The words are as simple as they can get, yet Iwaizumi looks so confused Oikawa has to smile a little. He gathers enough courage to get up and walk past Iwaizumi, grabbing his shirt from the desk and puts it on. He cannot face his friend, not with the tears making their way down as his face as he buttons up his shirt. Pair of arms sneaks around his waist and pull him back until he hits Iwaizumi’s chest and he lets out a loud sob.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

He never gets the reply to his apology, but he decides he doesn’t need it.

 

 

 

Oikawa is 18 when things are finally how they’re supposed to be. They’re both still hurt from their pasts and they still need to soften the harsh edges of their relationship. It takes ages, it does, but Iwaizumi is finally his in all means and nothing else matters.

 

 

They just cuddle in their pyjamas and it’s nothing special, just the two of them talking about little things and sometimes leaning way too close to each other. There is no angelic-like light around Iwaizumi and his hair is all messed up and wet after the shower, but still, Oikawa loves him regardless.

 

“So, you’re really okay with moving out and living together with Makki?” Oikawa asks, _again_ , much to Iwaizumi’s annoyance.

“Yeah.”

“Won’t you be homesick? You always get homesick.”

“Home is whenever I’m with you, so I’ll be fine.”

 

Oikawa chuckles and mumbles how cheesy that is, only to be slapped by Iwaizumi. He then pouts and pretends to cry. Iwaizumi sighs and leans closer to kiss it better and he looks terrible from this close, his forehead wrinkled and eyes narrowed as he scolds him, but Oikawa still thinks he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

 

It’s nothing special and it’s no big deal either, it’s nothing like the romantic novels and people don’t cry over their story. It’s nothing like they say.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know that everyone writes angst with these two and don't get me wrong, I love them so much I get mad when I see all the angst in the tag .. Buuuuut, I needed to get this out and write it
> 
> Don't forget that even girls can be abusive!


End file.
